Hi.. I just stumbled upon your site by accident and find it interesting.

I am a Christian and thought my husband was too. He just filed for a legal separation and in my state it is almost the same thing as a divorce. I am learning a lot about him that is quite scary. I got married thinking divorce was never ever an option. I am very saddened that I am this position right now. I look forward to reading through other responses.

I think many Christians get a divorce because they have very little or no faith. They plainly just don't trust God and also because they put themselves before Him. If you truly put the Lord first, you wouldn't be lead to such a selfish act in my opinion.

It is very sad that the church is so worried about what people thing... who cares what people think! It's all about what God thinks!

People have it all backwards. It's quite sad!

I listened to your show today 10/24/09 about Loving and serving your husband. I was driving so I didn't get the name of the verse or article you quoted about Love is not you. Can you tell me where to find it.
I'm trying to get that kind of LOVE in to my heart.
Thank You.

Good idea Steve. Get people upset so they don't want to come to church anymore. An average of 3500 churches have closed their doors forever in the United States over the last three decades. Interestingly church membership has declined by an average of 3500 members a week over the same time. 5000 people a day rejecting their Christianity. Keep talking Steve. We atheists don't have to do a thing.

Believe it or not, I'm glad when certain "churches" close their doors - many are social institutions that are more closely aligned with your darkened mind than the light of the Gospel. I have never been under the illusion that America cold become "mostly Christian". In fact, Jesus Himself said, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." For most of us, atheistis included, the word "few" denotes not many. For instance, if I gave you ten marbles and asked for a "few" back most people would hand over two or three. So, Jesus Himself eluded to then fact that there are few who get into Heaven. You see church closings and people leaving their "faith" and say YAHOO! I see the same thing and say, "How sad...but Jesus said this would be the case." Your worldview delights in what makes you feel good (typical darwinian evolutionist) while my worldview delights and finds peace in the reality of Truth. You suffer from common insanity because you are out of touch with reality - reality is what is true - truth is from God. As far as "we atheists don't have to do a thing"...Amen to that, Boris! Enjoy your little clique that represents about 1% of this nation.

Sorry Steve, but truth doesn’t come from any God nor is truth defined by what your religion says it is. First you say I suffer from a common insanity because I’m out of touch with your imagined version of reality then claim that common insanity represents only 1% of this nation. For your information the percentage of atheists in this nation is around 22% right now and what’s most important is that almost 50% of the people under the age of 30 in the U.S are atheists. There are 2 billion atheists worldwide. As far as what Jesus supposedly said there are plenty of excuses for why people don’t believe in the Bible. All of them ridiculous. We don’t believe because it isn’t true.

I think that we need to pray for one another more often.

I have been married for 23 years and enjoy marriage. We still tell each other that we are glad to be married. It comes with commitment and daily dedication. Marriage must be protected and not treated casually. We must see it as the treasure that God sees it. We have had issues in our relationship, but we did seek God in the midst.

Back to prayer... I think that we don't pray for each other enough. When was the last time you prayed WITH your spouse?

When was the last time you prayed for the marriage of your friends? Do we only pray this when there is trouble? You can't buy a life jacket when you are in the ocean sinking. (although the coast guard can come) I'm not saying that it is ever too late with God, but we need to build up each other with prayer before there is trouble. BE PREPARED for the trouble that is sure to come. Pray for your marriage and for your friends!

We look to material world so much more than the spiritual world. When trouble hits we look for a counselor/book/program first instead of a concerted effort on our knees in prayer. The other things are fine, but we tend to put them FIRST...then "back them up" with prayer. I do this all the time, still, and I know that I short-circuit the power available. I think our main problem is what I now call "Fast-Food Christianity" (that will be my 2nd or 3rd book) - we want it fast, cheap and convenient. Prayer efforts can be slow, costly and inconvenient. How much do we trust God? How often do we rely on His power? Almost all of us fall short in this area...so start SMALL! Pray little prayers throughout the day...in the car, at work, during a meeting! Keep the lines open with God, always seeking guidance & wisdom to do His will...PRAY WITH YOUR WIVES, GUYS! BE A MAN AND LEAD! LADIES...support him and seek his leadership in prayer, but don't badger him - encourage him and PRAY for him. READ 2 Chronicles 7:14 often and remember the promises He made us and keeps...IF WE DO IT HIS WAY.

Divorce is a couple's problem, not an individual issue. It does take two (2) people and God to make this covenant work. Any other combination just won't work!

I am a survivor of a Divorce, and it is not where I vowed to be. I did not force my kid's mother to participate in multiple affairs. I did not accept the "misplaced/misguided wisdom" of those in the Church that said, "If you'll just LOVE her better, she'll come running back!" After the last time, I did not follow that advise. I took the challange from Matthew to heart. (18:15-20). There was a wrong, and there was no remorse (I had given her a free pass to continue because I had followed that Bad Advise above!)

So, it is only my opinion; however, I believe that the Church needs to be involved in the lives of it's members. That when there is a wrong, that if it is unresolved then it does need to be brought up to the members of the congregation. Let it serve as a warning to those that MIGHT consider an affair. Let it serve as a message to those in need of healing, that this Fellowship does care. Let it become an example to those considering marriage, that this is not to be entered into lightly. Having problems is what shows us that we are human. Seeking and finding God's MERCY is what makes us Christians.

I do not expect you to agree with this, but to consider this issue from another angle...

You are talking about Church discipline and I'm all for it. If we sin and will not repent follow the church discipline guidelines found in Scripture...one on one, two or three on one, then in front of the church. I have never heard of it being applied in the case of adultery but I can't see why that would be ruled out. Great thoughts, brother.

My husband and I were married for almost 5 years. He is an ordained minister. I was a worship leader in our church. I thought we were like every other couple. He decided that he wasn't in love with me anymore and left. He had been abusive at times, but I always thought we were going to be together til Christ returned. However, on November 29th, he left, for what he said was a break. However, he filed for divorce December 4th, without telling me or even asking me what I thought. I sought my spiritual leaders advice and they said he was making a mistake. They tried calling him and he would not answer their calls. My pastor finally got around to calling me the day I was supposed to sign the divorce papers. I stopped attending the church we were part of because it hurt too much to see these people we were in ministry with. He is living the single life now, but still goes to that church. I have recently started seeing someone but I still love my ex-husband. I want to be with him. I can't stop loving him, no matter how hard I try. What can I do? I don't know what to do.