We just went through Passport to Purity from FamilyLife and it was incredible! This is a getaway experience with amazing teaching for fathers/sons and mothers/daughters regarding maturity, sex, dating and purity. I CAN'T RECOMMEND THIS TOO MUCH!!! Check it out at: http://www.familylife.com/site/c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.3955827/k.902E/Passport2Purity.htm Here's another one...KISS DATING GOODBYE by Joshua Harris. Its available at: http://www.joshharris.com/i_kissed_dating_goodbye.php Here are a few more you can easily find online: PASSION & PURITY by Elisabeth Elliot YOUR GIRL as well as YOUR BOY by Vicki Courtney 5 CONVERSATIONS YOU MUST HAVE WITH YOUR DAUGHTER by Vicki Courtney

My sister had the same contract with her now husband. Thier first kiss was fun to watch, but was held for something more symbolic than legalism. Holding one's self to a particular standard of holiness is not legalism. It is when you wish to hold anyone else to your standard is when legalism steps in. A person making a vow to remain single for the sake of the faith is not legalism, it is a vow to God for his service (Romans 14:1-15:2).

I think waiting until the marriage is unrealisitic, but I DO think it can wait until a genuine proposal is accepted.

I heard one of my friends, Andy George, say it best last year. Unmarried folks shouldn't do anything with the opposite sex they wouldn't do in the wide-open with a group of friends. At first, I thought that was one of the most "over the top" statements I had ever heard. But within 5 minutes of his explanation of the "we want more" attitude, I was convinced my prior thinking was skewed and naïve. Touching is powerful! Hormones are more powerful. Mixing the two together in a bowl of “we want more” is a recipe’ not only with dangerous consequences, but one that can strip from you one of the most beautiful gifts God is offering to you with you life partner (spouse).

Until last year, I used to joke around with my (3) boys about getting their first kiss. Now, I pray they are of a responsible age and grounded in their faith before they even hold hands with a girl.

I've had this discussion a few times and find Christians tend not to make proper distinctive between a biblical view and non-biblical/secular view. They tend to acknowledge "given in marriage", but object to having this same form and structure practiced today. At best, the kids are to be taught what is right and wrong and then sort left to give it a go. Sighting the statistical probability of failure doesn't seem to get any to jettison dating. My position was rather simple. Dating is a worldly creation. In created by the world, then it's created for the world, with the results being after the world, which is by design intrinsic design promiscuity. Couple this with Christianity (the magic purity bullet) and thus you have the statistics worse for the church than for the world. You cannot plug someone into a system designed for failure and expect it practitioners to succeed.

My latest soap box about the purity/no kissing issue until marriage is that kids in church today are getting a confusing message from most churches/ministries/purity groups...don't do this that and the other until marriage, but marriage itself is portrayed as a put it off until there is nothing fun left to do...the ultimate dream buster... get your education first...just this past weekend at a religious meeting I heard a pastor comment how he wanted to help take people back to the dream they once had for their life before something got in the way. Maybe you got married, he said, maybe you had kids... Wow, marriage: not something to look forward to if I have any dreams or aspirations. I'm beginning to be convicted that as one involved in counseling ministry to children and families, I need to watch my semantics for anti-marriage sentiments.

Girls need to be taught that they can control the situation. God has given females the tendency to respond more slowly to sexual urges than males, and also to associate sex more as part of a loving relationship. The feminist movement has done great damage to this normal difference by encouraging women to act like men. The result is that girls have been been lured into, at the very least, disappointing relationships, and at the worst, pregnancy and/or STDs. This subject is just one of so many that illustrate the logic of a Christian worldview. God is the source of all real wisdom.

Wow you people are STUPID!

I happend to hear you talking about "I kissed dating good bye", just want ot recomend another great book: "when dreams come true" by Erick and Leslie Ludy. Check out www.setapartlife.com thay have both great resources for guys and girls!
- blessings

He wants to do that because you taught him this way. Such a though would never cross my son's mind. From one side, less dating and intimacy means less change of spreading STDs between kids. On the other hand, if they don't live when they are young, there is some chance that they will want to be less responsible about their social activities when they grow up. Of course this all depends on how the parents taught their child. If you ask me, I'd never want to head anything about dating unless it's senior dating about 40 years from now :)